At some point, the emotions do catch up to you.
After surviving two days of surgery and months of physical recovery, my body and mind have finally started to fully process what actually happened to me. Although I am still beyond thankful to be alive and feeling positive about my health, lately my emotions have been getting the best of me.
I am almost a full year out from surgery and within the last month, I have been hit with almost unmanageable feelings of loneliness and constant stress. The fact that I still am dealing with medical bills and insurance issues is absolutely ridiculous. On top of that, within the next few weeks I am my one year follow-up appointment and arteriogram. The results of the arteriogram will let me know if there is any residual AVM and will show how my brain is doing since surgery. I am hopeful that there will be nothing and the results will allow me to fully start the rest of my life.
It is important to realize that this is not the only thing happening in my life. I am almost done with my second to last semester of college, I work three jobs, and I have family and friends that I try to spend time with. Therefore, having to juggle all of those things plus my problematic health, I am overwhelmed and in need of a solution. Hopefully this winter break will help me reset and relax.
The stress is becoming too much to handle but should be eased soon.